


I'm Sorry.

by comacola



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, I kinda vent with some chapters but trust me theres v good parts, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Other, Pennywise is in this universe but he isn't involved or mentioned, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reddie, Violence, just read it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-08 21:49:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12873726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comacola/pseuds/comacola
Summary: "I can't believe I ever loved you."





	1. Thanks, Richie.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't been online here in a while,,  
> so let's just say this'll be a mini series before I go!  
> I hope you will all enjoy and comments/kudos are so very much appreciated!!!

7:00am

 

*beep, beep!*

Eddie Kaspbrak woke up to his alarm, curly brown hair around his soft pale cheeks and with a small groan shoving the alarm off his nightstand and with a hard clank to the floor the noise stopped. 

 

Today is the first day of Junior Year. 

 

Eddie slowly woken up, his hair a mess and now his small legs hanging down from his bed. He blinked for a couple seconds, looking out his small window to seeing the sun rise. He sighed, humming to himself. He never gotten to take a chance or, had the time to see how beautiful things can be in the small town of Derry Maine. 

 

Until, Sonia Kaspbrak. Eddie’s mother called to him in her sweet, so-called motherly voice she used, which embarrassed him. Sonia was very protective of Eddie, and it wasn’t the jealousy a girl or boy feels when there crush is with someone else on movie night. She was over the top to crossing the line. She’d always make sure Eddie would take his inhaler every day and night before bed. 

She’d call him randomly every 5 minutes when he was at one of the Losers houses. Eddie loved her either way, but he couldn’t stand living in a hospital of his own house anymore, when he lashed out on her for his medication being “Gazebos.”

 

“EDDIE-BEAR!” 

 

She yelled, the third time actually. She seemed so excited it sounded like at the least. “It’s time for your first day!, I don’t want my Eddie late for his big first day!” 

 

 

Eddie rolled his eyes from his mothers call, he rubbed his eyes as he finally responded. “Okay!, I’m coming just need to change!” 

 

Eddie got up and walked over to his closet, his sense of fashion was a mess ever since his mom started buying things for him over 3 years and not himself. Once summer came upon, he begged and finally convinced her that he is old enough to pick his own clothes and know what he wants to wear. 

 

Eddie picked out a soft pink sweater along with some white semi-ripped jeans. In through his mirror attached to his closet, Eddie stared at his physical appearance. He was very small, around 5’3 and he was indeed smallest of his friend group, besides Ben. 

 

He had soft brown eyes, Richie would always tease him for his Heterochromia. One was darker than the other and one was lighter with a shade of green. He had soft curly brown hair but that didn’t mean he was perfect. 

 

“EDDIE!, BREAKFAST!”

His mother called, she seemed impatient this time but he responded to her. “BE RIGHT THERE!”

 

Eddie quickly peered down at his clock, now 7;30am. He quickly put on his black converse and grabbed his backpack off the floor, heading downstairs. Eddie realized something, he indeed had asthma and took medication but now feeling anxious out of nowhere?, What was there to be anxious about?

It didn’t seem to be that long ago still, to Eddie that is ever since ‘that’ clown came crashing into their lives. Eddie still knowing he’s out there. He’s still overwhelmed with fear and anxiety over it, feeling it’ll still kill him any second now or time of the day. 

 

He still has his trauma, yes. He still has nightmares, yes. 

 

“He isn’t coming back.” He whispered, reassuring himself that he is alive.

He is okay. 

 

Eddie sat at the kitchen table, greeted by a huge smile from his mother handing him a plate of toast and orange juice. He was used to healthy meals from his mother, but he swore to her that he wasn’t becoming jack-shit of a Vegetarian.

 

Eddie’s mother took a sip of her coffee, cooking herself some eggs it seemed like as Eddie took a bite of his toast, listening to the background news coming from the Tv.

 

Once he finishes, his mother responds as he gave her his emptied plate. “Aren’t you excited for this year?, Friends. Homework. New Teachers..” As he scrunches up his nose at her from that.

 

“Except those dirty girls and boys,, they better not cause any trouble.” She continued. “One Richie Tozier is enough.”

 

Eddie snapped out of his behavior and responded to his mother, he felt defense crawl up his spine but resisted. “No mom, no trouble nor any of those kinds of stuff should be of my concern, this year.” Eddie sighed as he took a long sip of his orange juice. 

 

Eddie didn’t understand his mothers overwhelming hatred towards Richie, if anything over the summer Eddie grew closer to Richie than before. He loved his humor and cute coke-bottled gasses and his soft black curly hair and-

Wait.

What the hell?

Why was he thinking about him that way?, about Richie fucking Tozier?

Did he really pay that much attention to him?, to the point memorizing his face was necessary?

“EDDIE!” His mom snapped a finger in front of his face, “WAKE UP!, You’re scaring your mother to death.” As she than put he freshly cooked eggs on the plate. 

 

“S-Sorry m-Mom.” Eddie rubbed the back of his head, now motioning towards his backpack and looking up at the clock. 

 

7:50am

 

The doorbell rang. 

 

Eddie’s eyes widened, he wasn’t expecting someone leaving with him on the first day, now snapping out of his thoughts. His mom asked him, “Eddie, dear, could you get that? it’s probably those stupid advertisers again.”

 

Eddie nodded, giving a small smile to his mother and opened it. 

“Hello-“

 

He couldn’t believe it. 

 

Richie Tozier, wearing a leather jacket with what it seems to have bright red roses on each side. He had black jeans and dark brown boots tied to the core of his feet. He still had the same dorky glasses, and messy black hair. He also had a black t-shirt on that had a band name on it. 

 

“My little Eddie-Spaghetti!” Richie winked, cocking finger guns at him, and forming them into a heart. Teasingly licking his lips from Eddie’s physical appearance. 

 

Eddie blinked rapidly at Richie’s appearance, looking at how amazingly handsome he looked. Eddie felt his heart beating out of his chest, his face flustering slowly before his mom ruined this utter moment between them. 

Eddie must be out of his god damn fucking mind if he’s really thinking about Richie Trashmouth Tozier like this. FOR SURE.

 

“Mr.Tozier, who in the name of God thinks you’re riding with MY Eddie to school?” She eyed Richie up and down, looking in disgust at his outfit. She must really think that Richie’s a satanist or sadist now or maybe even both. 

 

“Why’re you even here?, Eddie was about to leave to school-”

“Actually, Mrs.Kaspbrak, Eddie and me planned this yesterday so…” He gave Eddie’s mother a playful smirk, moving closer to Eddie. “If you’re jealous, we can always plan a night dedicated to you~” 

 

He literally forgot that. Richie really did mean to take him to school.

Eddie face palmed, feeling tension between the two as his mother gritted her teeth in response, “Don’t. Talk to me like that.” Heavily sighing. She kissed Eddie’s cheek and said to him. “I’m only letting this happen once, because you’re both going to be damn late.” 

She glared at Richie, both their eye contact meeting for a split second.

“Don’t think of laying a finger on him, Tozier.” and went back to her sweet-innocent-loving mother side at Eddie hugging him tightly, kissing his forehead.

“Bye Sweetie, please call me if anything happens, I put your fanny pack into your backpack, always stay safe and stay focused!”

 

Eddie rolled his eyes, giving Richie the “Help me.” look. Richie smiled and snorted at their bond. Once their goodbye’s were made. Eddie and Richie walked towards Richie’s new bike, gently climbing on. 

Richie bought himself a new bike for his birthday, so he’s badly been wanting to take Eddie on it so, they planned for the first day of school. Richie wanted to look all badass and stuff like that, and plus Eddie was the perfect fit because he’d always show him things first.

and, he was indeed small.

 

Richie got on in front of Eddie, with a smirk he wrapped Eddie’s arms around his waist. “You might wanna hang on, Eds.” He whistled. “I wanna make a big entrance.” Richie threw his hands upwards now leaning down to Eddie’s ear.

“You Know That.”

 

Eddie blushed furiously and looked away, replying irritated. “Look. Can we please get to school, jackass. I get you want to impress my mom.” 

Richie laughed, looking like an angel to Eddie as he looked back at him. “Hang On, Eds!” As he began riding his bike, Eddie wrapped tightly around Richie’s waist, feeling his warmth and the smell of mint and cigarettes. 

 

“Thanks, Richie.” Eddie mumbled hoping he didn’t hear it. 

Richie closed his eyes and smiled from Eddies response, while opening up a cigarette pack for the first day.


	2. "What?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie must be playing with Eddie's feelings.
> 
> Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!, thank u guys sm for the support. I need to edit my stories tags but!!  
> I appreciate the kudos and hope u enjoy this chapter. c:
> 
> see ya and comments/kudos of any kind are highly appreciated.

Eddie held onto Richie for dear life, he didn’t expect Richie to go extremely fast on his bike. He almost treated it as if it were a damn motorcycle. Eddie closed his eyes tightly as he felt a strong forceful stop, hearing Richie take a deep breathe.

 

He slowly opened his eyes, feeling an arm wrap around his waist. Eddie looked up to his nose touching Richie’s. Eddie gasped softly as he formed a huge red blush on his face. Richie was fully aware of it, and snorted.

 

“Betcha’ were comfortable!, You’re to fucking cute Ed’s.” Richie teased, now getting them both off the bike. Eddie tried brushing off his flustered face but before he even tried, Richie pulled him even closer again. Richie slowly leaned down, tightening his grip on Eddie’s waist. 

 

“You probably are already thinking of me, aren’t you?”

Richie’s eyes looked dark and hungry, He looked like he could’ve eaten Eddie all up in one go. In fact, Richie looked jealous but Eddie can’t think jack-shit of a reason why now, or even how.

Eddie couldn’t answer, he was completely speechless by how Richie was holding him, he didn’t even bother to squirm. He rolled his eyes, pushing onto Richie’s chest to separate. “Fuck o-off, Tozier. In your dreams. What is wrong with you today?” He added turning away from Richie, “I told you NOT to call me that.”

 

Richie sighed, wanting to snatch the smaller boy closer to him again. He didn’t want to cause a scene anyway, making it worse. He smirked playfully as he pulled out a cigarette and brushed Eddie’s cheek playfully.

“It’s nothing, Ed’s.” 

 

“What? No!, Richie I’m not taking that for-” Eddie was suspicious. He was really tired of this on-going ‘act’ or ‘phase’ Richie is pulling off. What the fuck is his problem?

 

Dammit.

 

“H-Hey R-Richie a-and E-Eddie.” Eddie turned to where the sputtering and quiet voice came from. Of course, it’s Bill and following him in the background not to far came Stan. “Hey, guys.”

 

Eddie smiled softly, as for Richie opened up his trashmouth replied. “Bill’s got the Grill and Stan the man!” He rushed up, pulling them into a rough big hug. Bill gave an awkward smile and Stan sighed happily. 

 

“I-I s-see y—you got here e-early.” Bill said, rubbing an eye. “H-Have y-you seen M-Mike or B-Bev and B-ben y-y-yet?” Eddie shook his head, looking over to Richie who was putting away his cigarettes. “No. I haven’t. They’ll be here soon, hopefully at lunch.” 

 

Richie snorted. “Bev’s always been late. She’ll be here in a flash.” 

 

Bill and Stan nodded, before anyone could say anything else the bell started ringing. Each student was handed their schedule as they went inside. As for Eddie and Richie, they hadn't had the best out-come. Eddie only had two classes with Richie, one today and one tomorrow. 

 

Eddie gulped, he wasn’t used to being separated from his friends. He hated it. He didn’t know anybody else. He didn’t want to either. Richie was neutral at his schedule but nothing new came to mind other than him being angry over the fact he has little time now with Eddie at school. .

Richie only had two classes with Eddie as well.

“E-Eddie I h-have three c-classes with you t-today and one t-tomorrow. R-Richie I have all d-d-day w-w-with y-you t-tomorrow.” Bill stated, giving Eddie and Richie a tiny thumbs up, he looked like a nervous mess. Stan came in, sighing with un-satisfaction “I have only two classes with you Bill, Eddie I have all day with you today and Richie I have 2 classes with you tomorrow.”

 

Eddie felt a bit relieved than he should’ve been. He was glad he had Bill or Stan with him in at least one class or how many they stated. He was to busy looking over at Richie. Who was talking to Stan about their plans or goals of the year or something like that. 

 

“Dumbass..” Eddie murmured, feeling himself burn up from all of Richie’s actions towards him today. He felt Richie was most definitely playing with his feelings.

 

He has to be.

Right?

 

Once all of them gotten the things they needed. Eddie heard Beverly’s voice followed along with Ben’s. He turned to seem them running to hug Bill and Richie giving Ben a high five and doing their silly handshake he never pays attention to.

 

“Hey, Eddie!” Beverly hugged Eddie tight and smiled brightly, she was an angel and she was very strong. She had beautiful short red curly locks and was wearing a sun-flowered covered white dress. Eddie always looked up to her as a protective big sister. Ben greeted Eddie with a fist bump.

 

Richie wrapped an arm around Eddie’s shoulder, mocking up a British accent. “Well, Well ladies and gentleman!” Richie laughed pulling Eddie by the waist to his chest. “Shalt we get to the….” He dramatically paused and blurted out. “Class?”

 

Eddie let out a small squeak, now wrapping his arms around Richie as the others started talking about their summer memories. It’s not like they all separated during the summer. 

 

In fact, they had movie nights every Saturday, went to the beach, the quarry. They also even had sleep-overs at Bill’s house or sometimes even at Richie’s. The Losers always made a pact to fulfill their promises no matter what.

 

Especially, “I’ m gonna have to kill this fucking clown.” Promise.

 

In fact, they never tried separating due from all that trauma. Eddie is still to afraid to talk about his nightmares and panic attacks. He’s overall terrified about The Losers laughing at him. He knows they wouldn’t, but it’s hard to actually believe it, considering not even his own therapist or doctor took him seriously, almost making his mother give him sleeping pills that made you sleep longer or antidepressants since he wasn't emotionally invested at home or some bullshit like that. 

Bill, Beverly and Ben had to say their goodbye’s, considering they had Biology class first period.

Once Eddie, Stan and Richie made it to their first class. The teacher made everyone introduce themselves. The first class they had was English-Language and Literature. Eddie sat in the back, as always with Richie following up to sit right beside him and for Stan, he sat up in the middle.

 

Once class introductions were made, and all people were marked for attendance. The teacher began handing out students the class syllabus, a paper with a timeline with what homework and projects were going to be given through out the year.

Eddie got comfortable in his seat, he noticed Richie was staring at him, up and down and maybe even trying to get his attention. “What the fuck, Why is he staring at me? And Why is he giving me the look as if he’s mad at me?” Eddie trailed off into his thoughts. He wasn’t aware now that him and Richie were staring at each other for almost 5 minutes. 

 

Eddie felt his heart beat faster, He doesn’t understand this feeling he’s getting every time he sees that trashmouth. He felt weak, confused. He felt Richie already had him trapped in his arms again like earlier this morning.

Why?

 

“Kaspbrak?” 

 

The teacher called out to Eddie, who was now blinking and turning quickly to face the teacher. 

 

“Are you with us?, You seem very confused. Do I need to move you up?” The teacher asked strictly, impatient. The class falling more than silent and facing Eddie. 

 

“If so-” The teacher now glaring at Richie who was looking down at his feet on the desk.

 

“Chill, Teach.” Richie now looking upwards giving the teacher a devilish smirk. “Eddie’s SO into me. I can’t blame him though.” Richie cooed now standing up. 

“Everyone LOVES me. I can’t even blame ya for giving me that look.” Richie chuckled. “Admit it!, YOU LOVE ME!” As the whole classroom started beaming with laughter at Richie’s statements. Eddie’s face flustered red and threw his head down onto his desk. 

 

The teacher rolled his eyes, now responding to Richie’s smarts response. “Sit down Tozier, let’s see if that act keeps us once I see your grades this year.”

 

The class stopped laughing as Richie slumped back down in his seat, feeling defeated but as soon as he saw Eddie’s head raise up. He smirked to himself admiring Eddie by him. 

He didn’t realize how fucking small and cute Eddie actually looked today.

 

As class was going on, he watched Eddie take notes. Listening to every tiny thing Eddie said, and admiring every time Eddie would smile. He was an angel. In fact, to Richie he was the angel God sent down from above.

He wasn’t religious, but he knew angels did exist if he found one. Which was Eddie Kaspbrak, his long-time childhood friend. 

Richie knows he doesn't stand a chance. 

Once the bell rang, class was dismissed and Richie’s first priority was to go to Eddie, who was packing his bags and looked up to Richie. “Well?, What do you want Richie? To talk about my mom?” Eddie gave Richie a tiny glare. “Again?”

 

Richie never saw this side of Eddie, he was giving him THAT attitude. Stubborn. Irritated. 

Petty.

He loved it. 

Richie pulled Eddie by his waist and walked them out of the classroom, “Oh my, Princess.” Eddie now squirming trying to get out of Richie’s arms. “Did you not get crowned queen, instead?” referring to Eddies bad mood.

"YOU are EMBARRASSING Richie!, NOW THE SCHOOL MUST THINK OF ME AS YOUR BITCH OR SOMETHING!" Richie felt a blush fall onto his cheeks, boy. He really did get something out of his Ed's. Eddie continue. "I hate you sometimes." 

Eddie huffed loudly, now giving up. He decided to let Richie hold him anyways, he felt tired the more he squirmed, might as well pay the prices of his debts being humiliated in class today. 

Eddie saw Richie pass his next class for the period. He brushed it off, maybe thinking Richie wanted to use the early class time to have all of Eddie's attention. Which he didn't mind one bit, he needed to get to the bottom of this act Richie was doing. 

Until he realized. 

 

Richie was taking Eddie with him to HIS class, which was Math Studies. Eddie and Richie only had one class together today, and Eddie's next class was History with Stan. Eddie hissed at Richie “W-We only h-have one class together, asshole!” He squirmed until Richie loosened his grip, gently pushing Eddie against the walls of the school’s hallway. It’s cold, and hard. 

"a-ah." Eddie whimpered, he coughed and looked downwards. Is this a fucking dream? 

Richie snickered and intertwined him and Eddie’s hands tightly together, making Eddie feel nauseous. “Ed’s, you must be joking..” Richie mocked a sad tone and gave Eddie those unnecessary dog eyes. Richie was in denial. He really hates separating from Eddie, especially since Eddie is his angel. Richie was now in straight up denial. “We have second period together!, maybe your schedules messed-“

 

“Richie! I need to get to class, please.” Eddie begged. He tightened their hands together a little bit more. He didn’t know why he did this, especially to Richie. He’s nervous. Is Richie lonely?, is something going on at home with him?

Does he… need someone, but Eddie specifically? 

Did he feel bad?

No. He didn’t. In fact, Eddie couldn’t handle all of Richie’s warmth and appearance on top of him. He doesn’t know what to do. He feels himself getting dizzy almost.

Richie’s smile and puppy eyes dimmed down. He looked heart-broken. Eddie gulped and felt guilty but huffed, releasing Richie’s hand. “Look, I… um..” Eddie murmured. “Richie. How about we hang out after school, ok? The first day shouldn’t be shitty for you, nor everyone else.” Eddie lifted Richie’s face up, cupping his face was more like the actual answer. 

 

Richie gave Eddie a half smile, nodding. “That’s my Eddie Spaghetti~” Richie leaned in, their foreheads touching. “I’ll letcha’ go my love. I’ll see you at lunch.”  
As Richie lit up a cigarette, walking off like a raged doll as he slumped each step to his own second class period. 

"YOU aren't allowed to smoke in HERE!, YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT?" Eddie yelled across to Richie, disappearing around the corner.

 

Wait.

 

What did he just call him?


End file.
